Life is too short to let money problems ruin a first date – especially in the autumn of your life.
For single people of a certain age, the finances of dating can be difficult. Many older Americans are rising in wealth. Others are wasting money due to divorce, supporting adult children, or overspending on mortgage debt. The person sitting across the table may be the millionaire next door, or may be on the verge of bankruptcy.
“Age makes things different,” said George Mannes, personal finance editor of AARP The Magazine. “The older you get, the more difficult it becomes to predict a potential partner or date’s finances.”
Older daters face a unique set of challenges, AARP explains in a new article titled “When Romance Meets Finance,” published in its June-July issue.
Retirees generally live on a fixed income. They are more likely to be on budget. They are potentially more vulnerable to scams. And they may run into conflicting values over matters of etiquette, such as who picks up the check.
Here are seven money tips for older daters from AARP, NerdWallet and other sources.
Find out who is paying
The traditional rules of heterosexual courtship dictate that the man pays on the first date, Mannes said.
Many elderly Americans still live by those rules. But not all, and older daters are free to set rules that are comfortable for them.
“You get to the point where you’re two mature adults, and you can talk about money and expectations,” Mains said.
If you prefer to pay on the first date, AARP columnist Lizzie Post suggests, say something like, “Please consider this my gift to you, no matter how it works out.”
If you want to split the bill, say so in advance. Your candor will set the tone for future dates.
“If you can’t talk about who should pay on the second date,” Manes said, “it’s probably not a good match.”
set a budget
According to BMO’s 2025 survey, the average American spends $168 per date.
Interestingly, younger people who date spend more than older people. According to the BMO report, Gen Z spends an average of $194 per night, compared to $191 for Millennials, $172 for Gen X and just $127 for Boomers.
AARP suggests that older Americans should set a budget for dating, especially if they are on a fixed income.
“When you have a limited income, it helps to budget for almost anything in your life,” Mains said.
If you’ve exhausted your monthly budget, stop going on dates. Besides saving money, that rule can help you “pace yourself in the dating pool,” Mains said.
Consider Low-Cost Entertainment
As AARP reports, a great first date can create “feelings of excitement and perhaps discomfort.”
To keep things low-key, consider a low-cost destination like a local zoo.
“Don’t have a zoo in your area? Think about coffee shops, museums or bookstores,” dating coach Bella Gandhi tells AARP.
Setting a dating budget (see above) can lead you to think about cheaper dates, Mains said.
For example, a monthly dating budget of $200 may only allow for one steakhouse dinner, but it can finance several coffeehouse outings.
carry cash
As AARP reports, there are at least two good reasons to bring cash on a first date.
First, having cash on hand makes it easier to split the bill, especially if the other party is pushing for treatment. You can protest by saying, “I really appreciate that you want to treat me, but I’m not comfortable with it, so I’m going to leave $40 here,” said AARP columnist Post.
Second, if the date isn’t going well, cash makes it easier for you to escape.
Beware of Scams
According to the FBI, Americans over the age of 60 lost more than $7.7 billion to internet scams in 2025, while the average elderly victim lost more than $38,000.
The world of dating for older Americans is full of potential scams. Nearly half of online daters ages 50 and older have encountered a potential scam on a dating site or app, Pew Research reports.
“Dating sites can be risky for people of all ages, and especially older people, as scammers often target people who are likely to have accumulated retirement savings,” said Kimberly Palmer, personal finance expert at NerdWallet.
AARP says there are several ways to avoid dating scams. One is to verify the identity of a potential dating partner, searching for their name online or running a “reverse” image search on a photo.
And be alert for clues that a potential dating partner may be planning a scam.
“Any request for money for any reason before meeting you is a huge red flag,” Mains said. “Besides, refusing to meet in person is a major danger.”
Don’t feel obligated to talk about money
AARP recommends that daters wait for the right time to talk about money.
If someone on a date asks you a question about money that seems too personal, you don’t have to answer it.
In response, “A good question is, ‘Why do you want to know?'” Manes said.
On the other hand, older people who date should keep an eye on their partner’s strange financial behavior. For example, if someone pays cash for everything, this may be a form of financial discipline – or may actually be a sign of bad credit.
Don’t let money ruin your date
AARP says older Americans should be savvy about finances when dating. But don’t assume that every potential dating partner is out to get you.
AARP advises to avoid the impulse to label someone cheap or wasteful after one or two dates. Instead, take some time to learn about what they’ve been through in their financial life.
“It’s not like everyone in the world is going after your money,” Mains said. “They may be on a dating site because they’re looking for love.”
