‘Sandwichers’ are being pressured: Of those Americans who support both their parents and their children, the majority are moving the goalposts on their retirement.
a recent survey found by ethene Nearly three-quarters of so-called ‘sandwich generation’ caregivers have adjusted their retirement goals to support family members.
Many of them are woefully unprepared for what lies ahead. Less than a quarter of Athene survey respondents (24%) reported having a written retirement plan. Meanwhile, nearly a third (30%) worry that they will be dependent on their children’s financial support in retirement.
As the American social safety net is under pressure, the population is aging, and the economic outlook remains uncertain, this lack of preparation could have serious long-term consequences – not just for individuals, but for the next generation who may be asked to shoulder the burden.
Financial advisors say this issue is appearing more frequently in client conversations sandwich family Are spread thinly. They share sensible steps on how to ensure your financial success while supporting family members.
Stacked Triple Mission
Unlike actual generational groups, ‘sandwichers’ are defined more by their life circumstances than by the year they were born. Athen defines them as middle-aged (40–59) people who provide financial or caregiving to both adult children and elderly relatives. marcel miu, Simplify Money Planning The founder and leading wealth planner says the sandwich generation has three missions: their children’s education, their parents’ long-term care, and their own retirement.
“Without strict limits, they risk bankrupting their future to pay for the present,” Miu advises clients to secure their retirement first. “I call it the financial oxygen mask rule. Think about it – you can borrow for your kids’ college, but you can’t get a loan for your retirement.”
“Most adult children have no idea what their parents’ estate plan looks like, whether a power of attorney exists, or exactly how long-term care will be funded. By the time they find out, everyone is already stressed and struggling to make expensive decisions under pressure.
intergenerational living
As costs rise, shared living becomes more practical. What was once a cultural or personal preference has increasingly become an economic necessity; Families focus on pooling resources, reducing costs, and managing caregiving responsibilities under one roof.
according toPew ResearchMultigenerational living has increased 3 to 4 times over the past half century (1971 to 2021), and now comprises 18 percent of the US population. according toNational Association of Realtors (NAR), 17% of homes sold in 2024 were purchased by multi-generational households – the highest proportion on record.
“When housing, health care and education expenses are all running in parallel at the same time across generations, sharing a roof can actually make a lot of financial sense,” says Tyler Abney, managing partner of . Tidemark Financial Partners. Families who implement this move forward with real structure and clear expectations. People who leave that conversation regret it.
have a conversation
There is a danger in not communicating clear long-term strategies.
Albania Espinal, founder of Allegre Wealth Managementsays that many people do not discuss money with their parents and are blindsided when their parents have financial needs.
“Sandwichers need to have open conversations with their parents to make them aware of their financial situation,” Espinal says.
She says it’s normal for people to feel pressure to help their family, but it’s important to set financial boundaries to avoid guilt and help you understand when you can step up.
These emergency situations often highlight a lack of knowledge. For example, Miu says most families avoid discussing the difference between rehabilitation and long-term care and mistakenly believe that Medicare covers nursing homes.
”That’s rarely the case – custodial care falls on Medicaid or comes directly from private savings,” he explains. “Families need to discuss how they will finance this care long before a health crisis occurs.”
living legacy
While health costs are a major expense for their elderly parents, their children face larger costs such as housing, education and starting a family.
Many American parents, seeing pressure on their children, are reacting quickly hand over property Quick. This idea matches those popularized by Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero, who argues that money should be deployed to have the greatest impact while one is still alive. Financial advisors say this “living legacy” approach is gaining popularity, although it must be balanced to suit retirees’ own long-term risk and income needs.
“For clients who have the means to do so thoughtfully, transferring assets early can reduce estate complexity, reduce potential tax exposure, help adult children at a time in their lives when they really need the capital, and allow parents to see the impact firsthand,” says Charles Luong, president of .Endeavor Consultant. “The keyword is thoughtful giving. This only works if the parent’s own retirement income is secure first. You give out of abundance, not anxiety.”
Planning ahead is important, but very few Americans are. According to Caring.com 2025 Wills and Estate Planning StudyThe share of Americans with a will has declined since 2022 and is now below 50%.
“It’s all very well to try to be fair, but giving some kids and not others, but outright support not only doesn’t add up but goes unnoticed by other kids,” says Paulo Lopes, founder of . Woodmont Financial Partners. “If possible, try to document the unequal support so that it is considered as progress on their legacy. This should help reduce confusion and resentment.”
The pressures faced by the sandwich generation show no signs of abating. As costs rise and safety nets are strained, there is a need to plan in advance, professional adviceClear communication and strong boundaries become important. Without it, today’s balancing act risks becoming tomorrow’s financial crisis – not just for one generation, but for the generation after that.
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